Small penises have feelings too.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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