No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
