So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
