you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I am one with the molecules
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
