discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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