i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
