found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
