I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Pants are for mortals
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
