after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
