All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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