Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
