You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
