So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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