I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
