we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
