saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
