If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
