Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
