You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
