just tell him i said nine months
In America we eat man semen.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's shark week go big or go home
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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