the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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