i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
