he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
