Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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