I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize