You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
