i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
