You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
