thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
