i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
