What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
