I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
