Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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