just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
