i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
