Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This toilet bowl is my home.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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