I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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