dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
