am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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