I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
