I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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