I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just sucked dick on a ferry
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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