I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
