dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
