When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
