there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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