That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
