so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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