I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
