omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
