saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
