I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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