She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
