i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
