I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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