maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
