Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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